News and Jerry Springer had a baby

So Huffpost news today included the fact that Khloe Kardashian’s boyfriend most likely cheated on her.

What is news?

At one time, I thought news was an organism designed to inform people about important things happening in the world that affect the people. This organism informed, neuron-multiplied, brained-up the good people with valuable information to make valuable decisions about their world. I was such a silly goat.

I suppose a hundred years ago, news actually had to be about important things as it was expenive to produce and expensive for people to buy. And then it become less expensive to produce and buy, but newsers informed people with information people needed.

And there was no snobbery, those that wanted brain smut, it was available in tabloids while you waited in the grocery store checkout line. You could real all about which celebrity got a nose job and how the aliens were enjoying life in Pennsylvania.

And then …

Everything got too easy, there was so much information, and all of it so easy to find and disseminate on the interet. Noone had to care about paying for airtime or paper or ink or distibution costs. Nope, all that was required was to fill up those intenet pages so eyeballs would join.

It was not important what sites put out as long as they put out. And then news realized brain smut was way more dollarsy – and that real news research cost too much money. And then Harry met Sally.

And so like, can someone please news us on when Alvin the chipmunk will ever find love – I mean I worry about him.

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